Why do I get openly frustrated with my students when I adore them? A human response I know, but I hate it.
I hate that I sometimes respond to my kids out of a sense of emotional frustration. I know they are teenagers who are figuring out who they are, and part of that is testing boundaries. Another huge part of their behaviour is simply not thinking. They (as did I at their age) act without thinking about how their actions affect others, or that what they do could possibly be inappropriate. How do I counteract that? I can’t figure out how to draw out their potential. Well, sometimes I can, but sometimes I feel lost, hence the frustration. Some students respond to positive suggestions, some just don’t get it. It’s not that they are bad kids, they just can’t see that their behaviour actually matters in the long run, or how it affects anyone around them.
I want to bring out the best in my kids. I get intensely frustrated when that isn’t happening, when they are half hearted and don’t seem to care about themselves (or rather that they just don’t get it). I want to see them be the best they can be. That might sound corny, but it’s true. I struggle on a weekly basis to know how to do that well, and I hope I sometimes succeed. I wish I was a better teacher. I can always be a better teacher.
I wish my kids saw my heart and understood my intentions. I wish they knew how to do the best they can for themselves.