I feel so inadequate to serve here.
I look at who I am and what I can do, and I know that I can’t do this on my own. I have moments of clarity when I realise this anew. Who I am falls so far short of what others need and deserve.
I need to be more patient, more loving, more generous, more forgiving, more merciful.
Without God I am utterly lost. I cannot measure up. I know that God takes up the enormous slack that I leave behind. He fills my gaps. He runs the end of my race. He picks up my missing pieces. He sustain me. He guides me. He fills my inadequacies with grace and mercy.
I am serving amongst amazing people. People whom I know God is also sustaining and drenching in his gifts. We are all inadequate and God uses us anyway. These are people I often feel are doing better than me on this path of letting God reign and allowing him to take control.
There are times when the voices within speak louder and times when I can quiet them. I am acknowledging my severe limitations. I am not good enough on my own, but by the grace of God he allows me to serve him anyway. There are people here who are far better than me at letting God reign and letting his grace and mercy fill their gaps. I strive to be more and more like that. I have a long way to go. Their examples are an inspiration.
I do not deserve to be here. I am so much less than I could be. I do not live up to my potential. I know that we are never finished, but I am painfully aware of my inadequacies.
This is ok.
It is ok to know I am not enough.
Without this knowledge I am even more limited.
It is both painful and freeing to know that I am not enough.
God will keep sustaining me and continue to grow me into the person he created me to be.